Just a side note.... our three biological kids came 1-3 weeks early, so it's just fitting that Lucee would be coming "early" as well ;)
Thursday, December 17, 2015
One Year ago...
Exactly one year ago today( December 17, 2015), Ben and I filled out the Request to International Adoption Application and mailed it off to the Gladney Agency with our $300 application fee! At that time, we were under the impression that the adoption process would be a long one and the wait could be 18-24 months long! We were trusting that God would bring us step-by-step to the child He had planned for us. Now, one year later we are excited to be anticipating our little girl, Lucee, coming home with us within 13-14 months of that initial application!!! Praise God and may He continue to bless this adoption process!!
Just a side note.... our three biological kids came 1-3 weeks early, so it's just fitting that Lucee would be coming "early" as well ;)
Just a side note.... our three biological kids came 1-3 weeks early, so it's just fitting that Lucee would be coming "early" as well ;)
Monday, December 14, 2015
December 14, 2015 Update
Some people have been asking about updates on Lucee... Not much is going on right now on our side of things. Other than trying to get things ready for her to come home! Woo Hoo!!!
However, in China, the paperwork is getting to where it needs to be and people are double checking that everything is where it is supposed to be, so that when we get there with Lucee, there won't be any paper/document hiccups. :)
We have been given the estimate of about 2 more weeks until CCCWA (China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption) will issue our Travel Approval date. We are estimating that the travel date will be toward the latter part of January 2016. We will definitely announce on here and blast it on Facebook when we get that Travel Approval date!!!
Until then, we will just continue to prepare our house and hearts for our sweet daughter to come home!
In regards to our fundraising, we are less than $3,000 away from the financial goal on Adopt Together!! Praise God for all of His provisions thus far!
If you would like to contribute to this, please go to
to make a tax-deductible donation to help with travel and adoption expenses.
Stay tuned for the Travel Date coming soon.... Yippee, SUPER exciting, it's just around the corner!!!
Friday, October 30, 2015
Our Sweet Lucee
Introducing to you...
Our Daughter, Lucee!
She has stolen our heart and she doesn't even know it.
"Soon, little one, soon. You will know how much you are loved."
With Love,Your family!
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Update on Lucee!!!
I know it's been a while since we have given an adoption update. We have kind of been sitting in limbo waiting to hear back from China as they have all of our paperwork and are reviewing it.
Today we got to hear from the physical therapist that is part of our adoption agency and we got some REALLY exciting and encouraging news. First of all she couldn't stop talking about how amazing and sweet Lucee is. Her excitement right off the bat was very exciting for us. We hadn't even gotten into any questions and she was already bragging on her. Then she got in to answering a bunch of the questions we had asked before the group went over to China to see the kids.
-Lucee is very active and even jumps around a lot. This was encouraging for us as we know that she has issues with with her legs with the muscles and tendons due to her cerebral palsy. The physical therapist did state that she is not in any kind of brace for her legs right now (this is normal in orphanages) and that the longer she goes without, the harder it will be on her legs. She does have good range of motion in her feet and legs right now, so that is encouraging. The fact that she is jumping is very exciting for us.
-With her strabismus (cross eyes), the therapist did note that Lucee is not tracking well out of her right eye. We expected this but is just a reminder that vision therapy and surgery on her eyes is in her future when she gets here. Her head is tilted to the left and they believe this is to compensate for her right eye. The therapist stated that because her head is tilted to the left that the muscles in her neck are tight and will need to be worked on when she is here.
-She does not speak any English except for "hi". She speaks Mandarin pretty well, so this will most likely be our greatest challenge when we are united. The amazing thing is that we met some new friends recently who are from China and fluently speak Mandarin. They have offered to teach us and to be a help when we don't understand Lucee. Meeting these new friends is such an amazing blessing at the right time.
-Lucee is learning lots of new things and is able to match the right colors together. Her favorite colors are green and red.
-Lucee is a very personal little girl and loves interacting with others. The therapist stated that they gave the kids fruit snacks and Lucee was offering some of her snacks to the workers before she ate any herself. Over and over the therapist continued to talk about her sweet, loving personality.
-She loves music and sings all of the time.
-Lucee is not on any medications
-She sleeps well but is a lite sleeper and likes the room completely dark. This is perfect because Lilee sleeps in the dark whereas our boys sleep with a night light on.
-A big one is that she is potty trained!!!!! She goes potty all by herself as well. That means we can't get rid of the big changing table in our house and we no longer have a need for any diapers!!!! Brandee was VERY excited about this news.
-She is 101cm tall which puts her at 39 1/2 inches. She weighs 31.4 pounds. Lilee on the other hand is 38 1/2 inches tall and weighs about 33 pounds. Both girls wear 3T clothing. We are going to basically have twin girls!!
-The nanny's and anyone that is around her states that she is an absolute joy to be around.
-Some of the most exciting news but also gut wrenching (because we have to continue to wait) is that she has been talking about wanting a "mama and baba". She has seen other kids get adopted and leave and she is desiring that as well. Obviously, this just melted our hearts and made us want to get on a plane right away and go get her. It's exciting that God is answering our prayer for her to desire to be part of a family. It's crazy to be in the spot we are in because she has no clue that there is a family pursuing her. Because we are waiting on China's final approval, they cannot tell her about us yet. We feel like we are looking through a one way mirror where we know who she is and are looking into her world, but she can't see that we are right there on the other side of the mirror smiling and ready to love on her. Once we get final approval for her they will begin telling her about us and showing her pictures.
This was a very exciting day for us as we received all of this great information about our daughter. Please pray that the process would hurry along so we can actually get over there and bring her home. Thank you all for the amazing love and support we have been receiving!! It has meant so much to us. Can't wait to tell you all more soon!
Today we got to hear from the physical therapist that is part of our adoption agency and we got some REALLY exciting and encouraging news. First of all she couldn't stop talking about how amazing and sweet Lucee is. Her excitement right off the bat was very exciting for us. We hadn't even gotten into any questions and she was already bragging on her. Then she got in to answering a bunch of the questions we had asked before the group went over to China to see the kids.
-Lucee is very active and even jumps around a lot. This was encouraging for us as we know that she has issues with with her legs with the muscles and tendons due to her cerebral palsy. The physical therapist did state that she is not in any kind of brace for her legs right now (this is normal in orphanages) and that the longer she goes without, the harder it will be on her legs. She does have good range of motion in her feet and legs right now, so that is encouraging. The fact that she is jumping is very exciting for us.
-With her strabismus (cross eyes), the therapist did note that Lucee is not tracking well out of her right eye. We expected this but is just a reminder that vision therapy and surgery on her eyes is in her future when she gets here. Her head is tilted to the left and they believe this is to compensate for her right eye. The therapist stated that because her head is tilted to the left that the muscles in her neck are tight and will need to be worked on when she is here.
-She does not speak any English except for "hi". She speaks Mandarin pretty well, so this will most likely be our greatest challenge when we are united. The amazing thing is that we met some new friends recently who are from China and fluently speak Mandarin. They have offered to teach us and to be a help when we don't understand Lucee. Meeting these new friends is such an amazing blessing at the right time.
-Lucee is learning lots of new things and is able to match the right colors together. Her favorite colors are green and red.
-Lucee is a very personal little girl and loves interacting with others. The therapist stated that they gave the kids fruit snacks and Lucee was offering some of her snacks to the workers before she ate any herself. Over and over the therapist continued to talk about her sweet, loving personality.
-She loves music and sings all of the time.
-Lucee is not on any medications
-She sleeps well but is a lite sleeper and likes the room completely dark. This is perfect because Lilee sleeps in the dark whereas our boys sleep with a night light on.
-A big one is that she is potty trained!!!!! She goes potty all by herself as well. That means we can't get rid of the big changing table in our house and we no longer have a need for any diapers!!!! Brandee was VERY excited about this news.
-She is 101cm tall which puts her at 39 1/2 inches. She weighs 31.4 pounds. Lilee on the other hand is 38 1/2 inches tall and weighs about 33 pounds. Both girls wear 3T clothing. We are going to basically have twin girls!!
-The nanny's and anyone that is around her states that she is an absolute joy to be around.
-Some of the most exciting news but also gut wrenching (because we have to continue to wait) is that she has been talking about wanting a "mama and baba". She has seen other kids get adopted and leave and she is desiring that as well. Obviously, this just melted our hearts and made us want to get on a plane right away and go get her. It's exciting that God is answering our prayer for her to desire to be part of a family. It's crazy to be in the spot we are in because she has no clue that there is a family pursuing her. Because we are waiting on China's final approval, they cannot tell her about us yet. We feel like we are looking through a one way mirror where we know who she is and are looking into her world, but she can't see that we are right there on the other side of the mirror smiling and ready to love on her. Once we get final approval for her they will begin telling her about us and showing her pictures.
This was a very exciting day for us as we received all of this great information about our daughter. Please pray that the process would hurry along so we can actually get over there and bring her home. Thank you all for the amazing love and support we have been receiving!! It has meant so much to us. Can't wait to tell you all more soon!
Sunday, September 13, 2015
While We Are Waiting...
We have been pre-approved to get Lucee (spelling we will probably change her name to in keeping with her momma and sister's spelling), which is a big deal!! This means we are the only family that has her file in the world and no one can get her unless our paperwork doesn't get approved in China before Jan 23rd. (It should be approved by October!!) Once it's approved, we will be given a time to travel over to bring her home!! This could be as early as December, but could be later like Feb or March. Financially, we are preparing for Dec, but emotionally, we are trying to prepare for the latter.
While we are waiting, we are focusing our efforts on fundraising. We are planning several fundraisers...
- Bake Sales at APEX Community Church (Sept. 12-13 & Oct 24-25)
- Beer Tasting at The Trolley Stop in Dayton (Nov 4 @ 6:45pm)
- The Orphan Love Run/Walk 5K (Nov 14 @ 9am) The Start line is at APEX Community Church
-To Give Tax-Deductible Donations you can give at Adopt Together .
Also, some exciting news that's happening right now is that the Superkids (a team that our agency sends to China 2 times a year to physically see the kids in the orphanages, take pictures and be advocates for) just left yesterday (Sept 12) for their second trip this year to China. They will visit about 10 orphanages while there, and they are bringing a little package of items for Lucee! If she is not ill on the day that they visit her, they will get to take updated photos, videos, and ask her nannies the questions that we have given them. We are so thankful for this team and all of the work that the volunteers do to help these waiting children.
That's all for now! If you have any questions about the process or anything, please feel free to let us know! All Glory be to God!!!
While we are waiting, we are focusing our efforts on fundraising. We are planning several fundraisers...
- Bake Sales at APEX Community Church (Sept. 12-13 & Oct 24-25)
- Beer Tasting at The Trolley Stop in Dayton (Nov 4 @ 6:45pm)
- The Orphan Love Run/Walk 5K (Nov 14 @ 9am) The Start line is at APEX Community Church
-To Give Tax-Deductible Donations you can give at Adopt Together .
Also, some exciting news that's happening right now is that the Superkids (a team that our agency sends to China 2 times a year to physically see the kids in the orphanages, take pictures and be advocates for) just left yesterday (Sept 12) for their second trip this year to China. They will visit about 10 orphanages while there, and they are bringing a little package of items for Lucee! If she is not ill on the day that they visit her, they will get to take updated photos, videos, and ask her nannies the questions that we have given them. We are so thankful for this team and all of the work that the volunteers do to help these waiting children.
That's all for now! If you have any questions about the process or anything, please feel free to let us know! All Glory be to God!!!
A word from Ben
While running a 6-mile punishment for the Biggest Loser Challenge at work, I was finishing up my last mile and God began to minister to my heart about little Lucy. I have been struggling with wanting a little girl who was going to fit right into our family's active life style. Little Lucy has muscle issues and moderate retardation. So that didn't fit into what I (emphasized!) wanted. I wanted it to be easy or maybe not easy, but definitely not as hard as Lucy was presenting with. I had lost focus that this was the Lord's inspiration for us to adopt and not us. What was it that he wanted in this adoption and not I. This needed to be Your will be done, not Mine.
As a dad, I have always wanted the best for my kids and having a kid with moderate disabilities, especially mentally, was a challenge for me. I selfishly was limiting in my mind maybe what God wanted to do through this adoption. This selfish perspective was possibly limiting God's will for our family. With this narrow-minded perspective we could be missing out on an amazing blessing the Lord has for our family as a whole and each individual member of our family. Right before the run, Brandee and I talked about Lucy's personality and how she liked singing, playing with others and how she liked to eat... all signs of life! We talked about how getting a toddler or infant, you don't know their personality yet and how a child that seems more "normal" could turn out to have many social issues. So with this foundation of the story I'm on my run... I'm finishing the last mile and put on one of my most favorite songs to help me dig in. It's "Tear Down the Walls" by Hillsong United.
Tear Down the walls
Tear down the walls,
see the world, is there something we have missed
turn from ourselves, look beyond
there is so much more than this
And I don't need to see it to believe it
cause I can't shake this fire deep inside my heart
Look to the skies hope arise
see His majesty revealed
more than this life there is love
there is hope and this is real
This life is yours and hope is rising as your glory floods our hearts
let love tear down these walls that
all creation would come back to you
it's all for you
Your name is glorious glorious
your love is changing us, calling us to worship in spirit and in trust
as all creation returns to you
For all your sons and daughters who are walking in the darkness
you are calling us to lead them back to you
we will see your spirit rising as the lost come out of hiding
every heart will see this hope we have in you
So here I am running along and the Holy Spirit just starts ministering to my heart with the lyrics of this song. I begin to see my selfishness and begin to see what I'm missing overall:
1) One day when the Lord returns (if not sooner) she will be able to walk and run "normal" and have corrected eyes and "normal" mental capacity. Jesus will usher those of us in Him into a new life with a new body, heart, and mind. How short minded I have been to forget this. We ALL have imperfections and the only cure is Jesus. It (this life) has been and will always be about coming back to Jesus who all things were created by and for. My main idea as a parent, husband, friend, coworker, and believer in Christ should be first and foremost to "lead them back to you". The lyrics "let love tear down these walls (of ignorance and selfishness) that all creation would come back to you, it's all for you" and "turn from ourselves, look beyond there is so much more to this" really brought this adoption into a right and true perspective.
2) No matter the mental delays our love can carry us through and Brandee's background of early childhood education could help this precious little girl to grow leaps and bounds. She's worked with kids who have developmental delays so who better to help Lucy grow than her mama.
3) Why are we adopting? For ourselves and what WE want or answering the calling that God has laid on our hearts? Is this for our overall plan in life or His? Loves doesn't see ailments. Just as God loved us "while we were still yet sinners" and gunked up with our junk and imperfections, should I be looking at my kids and ones He's entrusted to me with the same eyes. This life will never have perfection. How soon we forget that the "perfect" family life and circumstances does not and will not exist in this life. Our only hope is in Jesus. "look to the skies, hope arise, see His majesty revealed. More than this life there is love, there is hope, and this is real"
Our love for Lucy will fill us with joy and compassion as with any of our kids, to see beyond whatever physical, mental, or emotional ailment they may have. Did we get to choose Noah not to get Lymphomatoid Papulosis? No, and it didn't make us love him any less. If Lucy was "perfect" now or have very mild disabilities and then develop into moderate disabilities later, would it change our love or care for her? By NO means.
Thank you God for helping me to see the error of my ways and your prompting to pursue this precious little girl. If we hadn't had an A/C appointment, where I had to turn down overtime, I wouldn't have been at home to go on this long run and have my eyes opened. The appointment ended up being unnecessary as the installer found out that the air distributor was internally insulated. No charge to us for the appointment, but that whole event ensured I was at home and therefore able to go on this run.
Now where do we go? Well with a new perspective, we are pressing forward for Lucy and whether we get her or not is in God's hands, but like Paul in the bible, we have a new way to see.
As a dad, I have always wanted the best for my kids and having a kid with moderate disabilities, especially mentally, was a challenge for me. I selfishly was limiting in my mind maybe what God wanted to do through this adoption. This selfish perspective was possibly limiting God's will for our family. With this narrow-minded perspective we could be missing out on an amazing blessing the Lord has for our family as a whole and each individual member of our family. Right before the run, Brandee and I talked about Lucy's personality and how she liked singing, playing with others and how she liked to eat... all signs of life! We talked about how getting a toddler or infant, you don't know their personality yet and how a child that seems more "normal" could turn out to have many social issues. So with this foundation of the story I'm on my run... I'm finishing the last mile and put on one of my most favorite songs to help me dig in. It's "Tear Down the Walls" by Hillsong United.
Tear Down the walls
Tear down the walls,
see the world, is there something we have missed
turn from ourselves, look beyond
there is so much more than this
And I don't need to see it to believe it
cause I can't shake this fire deep inside my heart
Look to the skies hope arise
see His majesty revealed
more than this life there is love
there is hope and this is real
This life is yours and hope is rising as your glory floods our hearts
let love tear down these walls that
all creation would come back to you
it's all for you
Your name is glorious glorious
your love is changing us, calling us to worship in spirit and in trust
as all creation returns to you
For all your sons and daughters who are walking in the darkness
you are calling us to lead them back to you
we will see your spirit rising as the lost come out of hiding
every heart will see this hope we have in you
So here I am running along and the Holy Spirit just starts ministering to my heart with the lyrics of this song. I begin to see my selfishness and begin to see what I'm missing overall:
1) One day when the Lord returns (if not sooner) she will be able to walk and run "normal" and have corrected eyes and "normal" mental capacity. Jesus will usher those of us in Him into a new life with a new body, heart, and mind. How short minded I have been to forget this. We ALL have imperfections and the only cure is Jesus. It (this life) has been and will always be about coming back to Jesus who all things were created by and for. My main idea as a parent, husband, friend, coworker, and believer in Christ should be first and foremost to "lead them back to you". The lyrics "let love tear down these walls (of ignorance and selfishness) that all creation would come back to you, it's all for you" and "turn from ourselves, look beyond there is so much more to this" really brought this adoption into a right and true perspective.
2) No matter the mental delays our love can carry us through and Brandee's background of early childhood education could help this precious little girl to grow leaps and bounds. She's worked with kids who have developmental delays so who better to help Lucy grow than her mama.
3) Why are we adopting? For ourselves and what WE want or answering the calling that God has laid on our hearts? Is this for our overall plan in life or His? Loves doesn't see ailments. Just as God loved us "while we were still yet sinners" and gunked up with our junk and imperfections, should I be looking at my kids and ones He's entrusted to me with the same eyes. This life will never have perfection. How soon we forget that the "perfect" family life and circumstances does not and will not exist in this life. Our only hope is in Jesus. "look to the skies, hope arise, see His majesty revealed. More than this life there is love, there is hope, and this is real"
Our love for Lucy will fill us with joy and compassion as with any of our kids, to see beyond whatever physical, mental, or emotional ailment they may have. Did we get to choose Noah not to get Lymphomatoid Papulosis? No, and it didn't make us love him any less. If Lucy was "perfect" now or have very mild disabilities and then develop into moderate disabilities later, would it change our love or care for her? By NO means.
Thank you God for helping me to see the error of my ways and your prompting to pursue this precious little girl. If we hadn't had an A/C appointment, where I had to turn down overtime, I wouldn't have been at home to go on this long run and have my eyes opened. The appointment ended up being unnecessary as the installer found out that the air distributor was internally insulated. No charge to us for the appointment, but that whole event ensured I was at home and therefore able to go on this run.
Now where do we go? Well with a new perspective, we are pressing forward for Lucy and whether we get her or not is in God's hands, but like Paul in the bible, we have a new way to see.
A closer look at the 2 weeks...
We'll try our best to put what happened during these 2 weeks into words... Before we do, you need to know that when you adopt internationally from China, you have to go through a checklist (our agency's was almost 9 pages long!) stating what special needs you were willing to consider, might consider or would not consider. This was a difficult and strange task that we did after sitting down with our pediatrician way back in February. It felt weird going through and marking a box, since we don't get to do that with a biological child. However, it had to be done and we completed it as truthfully as we could. We were definitely leaning towards the mild side of the special needs spectrum.
So when we looked at Lucy's file, we saw 2 things that weren't mentioned in the blog... 1) it said, "Hepatitis B positive" and 2) "Moderate retardation". However, after we talked with the agency, we were able to get past those two things, since they said Hepatitis B positive just meant that she had her Hep B vaccine, she doesn't have Heb B. The physical therapist who had travelled over and spent time with Lucy just a couple months prior to our getting her file said that although Lucy scored low for the IQ testing, she thought Lucy was able to do more cognitively than what the file suggested due to external circumstances (she can't see well out of her crossed eye, she's been in an orphanage her whole life, she had to travel for 2 hours to the testing site, to take a test with strangers, etc.) She also went on about her personality and how she likes books and singing.
After the phone call with the physical therapist, we felt better, but we didn't feel the confirmation to say Yes or No yet. The main thing standing in the way for both Ben and I was that she had more moderate special needs than what we were anticipating. However, I kept being reminded that we are all broken. That if one of our biological children were crippled or injured in a life altering way, we would still love and care for them. Although I felt Ben leaning towards us passing on her, I didn't have that peace yet, but didn't feel confident in pursuing her either, so my prayer to God was, "Lord please speak to Ben and change his heart if we are to pursue her."
A few days after this, Ben went for a run, I was upstairs going through the boys' clothes when he comes up after running 6 miles, all sweaty, and he said, "I think we need to pray and really think more about Lucy." I start crying(happy tears), thinking "wow could she really be our daughter?" He's looking at me like I'm a little crazy and I tell him that I needed God to speak to him and this felt a little bit like a confirmation.
So, we decided that we'd take the next step which is to send her file to Cincinnati Children's International Specialist to have a Dr. who is used to seeing files of kids from China and other countries and who could give us more medical insight.
A few days later, we heard back from the Dr. in Cincy. Ben was at work, so we had a phone conference together. He got called out towards the end, but we both were able to hear the main part of the call... The Dr. had a much less exciting prognosis based off the file, pictures, and videos we sent her. She said Lucy has Cerebral Palsy and is cognitively delayed to the point that her IQ suggests she'll never be able to live independently. She'll probably not be able to get a HS diploma and will need assistance making financial and personal decisions. However, she did say that she was surprised by the video of her singing and that with an IQ as low as she tested, she shouldn't be able to remember and sing along as well as she did. The Strabismus (cross eye) wasn't even mentioned because the other 2 disabilities were more severe to talk about. When he got home from work, we both had a sense of, "Well, that was more than we were expecting." As we began talking about our fears and thoughts, we tried to do a lot of resting in God and trusting in Him to provide the answer.
So when we looked at Lucy's file, we saw 2 things that weren't mentioned in the blog... 1) it said, "Hepatitis B positive" and 2) "Moderate retardation". However, after we talked with the agency, we were able to get past those two things, since they said Hepatitis B positive just meant that she had her Hep B vaccine, she doesn't have Heb B. The physical therapist who had travelled over and spent time with Lucy just a couple months prior to our getting her file said that although Lucy scored low for the IQ testing, she thought Lucy was able to do more cognitively than what the file suggested due to external circumstances (she can't see well out of her crossed eye, she's been in an orphanage her whole life, she had to travel for 2 hours to the testing site, to take a test with strangers, etc.) She also went on about her personality and how she likes books and singing.
After the phone call with the physical therapist, we felt better, but we didn't feel the confirmation to say Yes or No yet. The main thing standing in the way for both Ben and I was that she had more moderate special needs than what we were anticipating. However, I kept being reminded that we are all broken. That if one of our biological children were crippled or injured in a life altering way, we would still love and care for them. Although I felt Ben leaning towards us passing on her, I didn't have that peace yet, but didn't feel confident in pursuing her either, so my prayer to God was, "Lord please speak to Ben and change his heart if we are to pursue her."
A few days after this, Ben went for a run, I was upstairs going through the boys' clothes when he comes up after running 6 miles, all sweaty, and he said, "I think we need to pray and really think more about Lucy." I start crying(happy tears), thinking "wow could she really be our daughter?" He's looking at me like I'm a little crazy and I tell him that I needed God to speak to him and this felt a little bit like a confirmation.
So, we decided that we'd take the next step which is to send her file to Cincinnati Children's International Specialist to have a Dr. who is used to seeing files of kids from China and other countries and who could give us more medical insight.
A few days later, we heard back from the Dr. in Cincy. Ben was at work, so we had a phone conference together. He got called out towards the end, but we both were able to hear the main part of the call... The Dr. had a much less exciting prognosis based off the file, pictures, and videos we sent her. She said Lucy has Cerebral Palsy and is cognitively delayed to the point that her IQ suggests she'll never be able to live independently. She'll probably not be able to get a HS diploma and will need assistance making financial and personal decisions. However, she did say that she was surprised by the video of her singing and that with an IQ as low as she tested, she shouldn't be able to remember and sing along as well as she did. The Strabismus (cross eye) wasn't even mentioned because the other 2 disabilities were more severe to talk about. When he got home from work, we both had a sense of, "Well, that was more than we were expecting." As we began talking about our fears and thoughts, we tried to do a lot of resting in God and trusting in Him to provide the answer.
Saturday, September 12, 2015
So much to say...
I apologize for not writing sooner on here, but really every time I'd start, I never knew what to say. There's just too much to put into writing and I don't even know where to begin. However, something has to be written, the story is still going on, so here goes nothing....
A small amount of backstory has to be shared first before we can get caught up. About a year ago, when we both knew that we were going to adopt or foster, we started just beginning to think about possible names for our next child. There was one week where it seemed that almost every character in the books I read to the kids, or the movies we watched as a family was named Lucy. I casually asked Ben what he thought of the name, Lucy. His initial response was, that he didn't care for it. Somehow though we began "jokingly" saying things like, "When Lucy is here, it'll be fun to..."etc. Then the kids began picking up on it and they started referring to their sister as Lucy. It was evident that the name had stuck when we went to a family's house who had adopted their daughter from China and when their daughter woke up from her nap and came downstairs, Lilee pointed to her and looked at me saying, "Lucy?"
We knew it was highly unlikely that our girl would come with the name Lucy, and we weren't sure if we'd change her name to this once we got her, but for sure it would always be a nickname for her in our family. From that moment on, we referred to our little girl in China as Lucy.
Well on May 19th, I saw a post from our agency with a super cute picture of a little girl and the blog title for her was, "We Love Lucy!" After picking my jaw up off the floor, I clicked on her story and read about her... "She's a sweet girl, with a sweet little laugh...she loves hairbows... loves to sing...she's 3 years old, has strabismus (cross eye) and has increased muscle tone in her legs and walks on her tiptoes with a halting gait." I saw a video of her walking and playing with hairbows. Ben was working, so I sent him the link to look at the blog. After talking with him, we decided to send an email to the contact person to find out what we could even do to possibly get more information about her. I received an email saying a family had her file, but if it fell through we'd be next on the list. We prayed about her and the situation, trusting that if she was meant to be with us, God would make a way. A week later, I got an email saying her file was available if we wanted to look at it. We knew that looking at it wasn't committing, so we had nothing to lose.
During the next two weeks, God did some amazing work in our hearts to bring us to the conclusion that we would pursue this little girl, trusting that if it wasn't right for her or us, then God would close the doors... so far every door has been wide open, we are just waiting on the final approval from China, which should be here in the next month.
A small amount of backstory has to be shared first before we can get caught up. About a year ago, when we both knew that we were going to adopt or foster, we started just beginning to think about possible names for our next child. There was one week where it seemed that almost every character in the books I read to the kids, or the movies we watched as a family was named Lucy. I casually asked Ben what he thought of the name, Lucy. His initial response was, that he didn't care for it. Somehow though we began "jokingly" saying things like, "When Lucy is here, it'll be fun to..."etc. Then the kids began picking up on it and they started referring to their sister as Lucy. It was evident that the name had stuck when we went to a family's house who had adopted their daughter from China and when their daughter woke up from her nap and came downstairs, Lilee pointed to her and looked at me saying, "Lucy?"
We knew it was highly unlikely that our girl would come with the name Lucy, and we weren't sure if we'd change her name to this once we got her, but for sure it would always be a nickname for her in our family. From that moment on, we referred to our little girl in China as Lucy.
Well on May 19th, I saw a post from our agency with a super cute picture of a little girl and the blog title for her was, "We Love Lucy!" After picking my jaw up off the floor, I clicked on her story and read about her... "She's a sweet girl, with a sweet little laugh...she loves hairbows... loves to sing...she's 3 years old, has strabismus (cross eye) and has increased muscle tone in her legs and walks on her tiptoes with a halting gait." I saw a video of her walking and playing with hairbows. Ben was working, so I sent him the link to look at the blog. After talking with him, we decided to send an email to the contact person to find out what we could even do to possibly get more information about her. I received an email saying a family had her file, but if it fell through we'd be next on the list. We prayed about her and the situation, trusting that if she was meant to be with us, God would make a way. A week later, I got an email saying her file was available if we wanted to look at it. We knew that looking at it wasn't committing, so we had nothing to lose.
During the next two weeks, God did some amazing work in our hearts to bring us to the conclusion that we would pursue this little girl, trusting that if it wasn't right for her or us, then God would close the doors... so far every door has been wide open, we are just waiting on the final approval from China, which should be here in the next month.
Monday, June 15, 2015
Hit the Ground Running!
Well, I'm not sure if you're adding this all up, but we signed on with Gladney in Dec. and they have a 3 month deadline to have our large amount of paperwork turned in... It's now February and we have 1 month to get our Official application and paperwork turned in to Gladney, (or we have to reapply and resubmit our application fee- no thank you! :) )
So, we got busy.
Lets just say it's a LOT of paperwork, and I began to realize that this was a different kind of "pregnancy" than I had experienced before.
Besides a lot of paperwork, there is also a lot of training that is required during the adoption process. Part of our required training was to go to Ft. Worth, TX for a two day training, called Pathways, put on by Gladney Center for Adoption. I (Brandee) was super excited about this, as I had been wanting to bring Ben and the kids to my home town area (Big Sandy, TX - about 2 hrs away from Ft. Worth) and this was the perfect opportunity. Not to mention, our friends, the Richie's, had recently moved from Dayton, OH to Combine, TX which isn't too far from Ft. Worth. So, we began making arrangements for the end of Feb. to go to the training, have the Richie's watch our kids for the 2 day training and visit with them before going to Big Sandy for a couple days to see extended family and show Ben and the kids where I grew up.
Plans quickly came together and before we knew it, the time to go south had come. We drove down in 2 days and stayed the night with the Richie's. The next morning, Ben and I left our kids there and drove an hour's drive to Ft. Worth where our training was. The training was amazing and we actually met another couple who lives in Cincinnati who are adopting from China too. They also have 2 biological boys and a girl. The training was on attachment and gave advice on how to care for and work through issues that many children who have gone through an adoption have experienced. That night Ben and I had stayed at a hotel and had a date night at the Stockyards downtown.
The second day of training actually got cut short due to the ice storm that hit Dallas/Ft Worth. The city literally shut down and what should have taken us only an hour to get back to our kids, ended up taking five hours! Thankfully we made it back together safely, and thankfully we still got credit for the 2-day training. We had a great night catching up with The Richie's. The kids loved hanging with them (and helping gather eggs from their chickens!!) The next morning we hung out again and said our goodbye's before heading to Big Sandy (1 1/2 hrs away).
We stayed both nights in Big Sandy with my Uncle Mike and Aunt Brenda. They live on a little farm with fun animals that the kids thoroughly enjoyed. My Cousin, Celina, set up a get together for everyone to come hang out at her mom's church the first evening we were in B.S. It was great to see family and friends that I hadn't seen in over 8 years. The weather was surprisingly cold for this time of year, but the people and places made up for that!
We ended up getting all of the paperwork necessary for the Gladney application in on time, and quickly shifted to working on the paperwork that would eventually make it's way to CHINA, aka, The Dossier. (Which is pronounced... Doss- ee- ay, rather than a Doe-sher, which is what I had been reading it as all along. ;)
Each step is one step closer to our little girl...
So, we got busy.
Lets just say it's a LOT of paperwork, and I began to realize that this was a different kind of "pregnancy" than I had experienced before.
Besides a lot of paperwork, there is also a lot of training that is required during the adoption process. Part of our required training was to go to Ft. Worth, TX for a two day training, called Pathways, put on by Gladney Center for Adoption. I (Brandee) was super excited about this, as I had been wanting to bring Ben and the kids to my home town area (Big Sandy, TX - about 2 hrs away from Ft. Worth) and this was the perfect opportunity. Not to mention, our friends, the Richie's, had recently moved from Dayton, OH to Combine, TX which isn't too far from Ft. Worth. So, we began making arrangements for the end of Feb. to go to the training, have the Richie's watch our kids for the 2 day training and visit with them before going to Big Sandy for a couple days to see extended family and show Ben and the kids where I grew up.
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| Who's ready for a 15+ hr drive... |
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| Looks like it should be in Ohio, not Texas! |
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| Jay, Kayla, Eli, Gideon, and Gabe Richie!! |
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| Night in the Stockyards with my Love. |
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| Mike, Brenda, Zachary, and photo bombed by Brandon and Evan :) |
We stayed both nights in Big Sandy with my Uncle Mike and Aunt Brenda. They live on a little farm with fun animals that the kids thoroughly enjoyed. My Cousin, Celina, set up a get together for everyone to come hang out at her mom's church the first evening we were in B.S. It was great to see family and friends that I hadn't seen in over 8 years. The weather was surprisingly cold for this time of year, but the people and places made up for that!
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| Mike, Celina, Mikey, Brandon, Evan, and Alex!! |
Each step is one step closer to our little girl...
A Bump in the Road
The timeline that Gladney gave us to expect for the adoption process was- six months of paperwork, six months to get a "match" or referral for a child, and then six months till we travel to pick up our child - for a total of 18 months (give or take a little).
About two weeks after we submitted our initial application (not the official application that was much lengthier and due in 3 months), we began to notice that our oldest son, Noah- 6 years old, had some spots on his legs, back and face that weren't going away. We initially thought they were chicken pox, but after they didn't get worse or better, we took him in to get checked out at the Dr. They thought it was MRSA. Which led to them putting him on 2 rounds of heavy antibiotics. Neither of them cleared up these mystery spots. In fact, one of the spots now was the size of a quarter on the back of his leg.
After about two weeks, the pediatrician referred us to a dermatologist to have them look at the spots. They were just as baffled and took a biopsy, hoping for some sort of answer. On January 22nd, they called us with the results as being either a spider bite or a rare disease called Lymphomatoid Papulosis (LyP). We could pretty much rule out the spider bite and began researching this LyP disease online. Our pediatrician and dermatologist were not familiar with it, so they referred us down to Cincinnati Children's Hospital. The online research that we could find, was minimal, but basically said 1 in a million people have this disease and 10 % of those people end up having the more serious type of Lymphoma. This was not what we were expecting at all! Up until this point Noah had been a very healthy boy. With all the uncertainty, we decided to hold off on any of the adoption process until we knew more on the prognosis of Noah. We clung tight to the promises of our Savior and leaned on our church family, immediate family, and friends to help us through this uncertain time. There are so many beautiful stories of how God reminded us that He was with us, carrying us through the mysteries that were in front of us. We'd love to share them, just message us for more information. :)
On Feb. 3, 2015, we drove down to Cincy to meet with a Dr. who has had experience with this disease before and wanted to check out Noah. She was very informative and told us that the prognosis of this disease is very different if the person is a child when it is diagnosed, than if it comes on as an adult. In an adult, the person will have these bumps show up periodically and then self heal as new ones show up and this cycle will continue for the rest of their lives, possibly developing into Lymphoma. However, in children the kids tend to get spots off and on for anywhere between a few months to a couple years, but generally will not develop spots past childhood. They will always have LyP, and possibly will be at a greater risk of developing Lymphoma later in life, than a child without LyP, but overall, Noah's prognosis looks pretty good. She gave us the OK to move forward with the adoption process. Each morning and night, we apply a cream to the spots to help them heal quicker and that is it. We have been back for a followup checkup since the initial visit, and will go back again in June for another checkup. They will continue to monitor his spots until he is free of them for at least a year. Wow, Praise the Lord! Not only for carrying us through this roller-coaster of a month, but also for allowing us to continue on in pursuing our child who will come from across the ocean. All Glory to Him!
About two weeks after we submitted our initial application (not the official application that was much lengthier and due in 3 months), we began to notice that our oldest son, Noah- 6 years old, had some spots on his legs, back and face that weren't going away. We initially thought they were chicken pox, but after they didn't get worse or better, we took him in to get checked out at the Dr. They thought it was MRSA. Which led to them putting him on 2 rounds of heavy antibiotics. Neither of them cleared up these mystery spots. In fact, one of the spots now was the size of a quarter on the back of his leg.
After about two weeks, the pediatrician referred us to a dermatologist to have them look at the spots. They were just as baffled and took a biopsy, hoping for some sort of answer. On January 22nd, they called us with the results as being either a spider bite or a rare disease called Lymphomatoid Papulosis (LyP). We could pretty much rule out the spider bite and began researching this LyP disease online. Our pediatrician and dermatologist were not familiar with it, so they referred us down to Cincinnati Children's Hospital. The online research that we could find, was minimal, but basically said 1 in a million people have this disease and 10 % of those people end up having the more serious type of Lymphoma. This was not what we were expecting at all! Up until this point Noah had been a very healthy boy. With all the uncertainty, we decided to hold off on any of the adoption process until we knew more on the prognosis of Noah. We clung tight to the promises of our Savior and leaned on our church family, immediate family, and friends to help us through this uncertain time. There are so many beautiful stories of how God reminded us that He was with us, carrying us through the mysteries that were in front of us. We'd love to share them, just message us for more information. :)
On Feb. 3, 2015, we drove down to Cincy to meet with a Dr. who has had experience with this disease before and wanted to check out Noah. She was very informative and told us that the prognosis of this disease is very different if the person is a child when it is diagnosed, than if it comes on as an adult. In an adult, the person will have these bumps show up periodically and then self heal as new ones show up and this cycle will continue for the rest of their lives, possibly developing into Lymphoma. However, in children the kids tend to get spots off and on for anywhere between a few months to a couple years, but generally will not develop spots past childhood. They will always have LyP, and possibly will be at a greater risk of developing Lymphoma later in life, than a child without LyP, but overall, Noah's prognosis looks pretty good. She gave us the OK to move forward with the adoption process. Each morning and night, we apply a cream to the spots to help them heal quicker and that is it. We have been back for a followup checkup since the initial visit, and will go back again in June for another checkup. They will continue to monitor his spots until he is free of them for at least a year. Wow, Praise the Lord! Not only for carrying us through this roller-coaster of a month, but also for allowing us to continue on in pursuing our child who will come from across the ocean. All Glory to Him!
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| Ben & Noah in Dr. Office |
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| Brandee & Noah outside Children's Hospital in Cincinnati |
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Taking One Step at a Time
If you are wondering how we got to the conclusion that we were going to pursue International Adoption, this is the post for you...
So, backing up to right after Ben had his "adoption moment". We didn't really know where to go from there, we just knew that God was opening our eyes to see the real need to love the orphans. Honestly, life just kind of got back in the way until about 3 months later, in June 2014. I (Brandee) had a vivid dream that a child was in trouble. I woke up feeling like we didn't have years to begin the adoption, but should pursue it sooner, rather than later. However, we were getting preparations ready for a summer camp in July that we attend each year and decided to look into adoption agencies after camp.
In Sept. I began seeking information. I checked out a book, You CAN Adopt from the library and began reading it. It was a good book to learn from and I think God used this book to soften my heart for the orphans even more. It sparked several conversations between Ben and I. As I finished that book, I reserved A Guide for Christian Families for Successful Adoption. This book was great in providing the advice we were looking for from a Christian perspective.
In October, Ben and I decided we were going to seek out families who were living out what we were trying to figure out. We met with some friends who were fostering kids here in Kettering. We got great info from them on the ups and downs of fostering. Then we met with a family from our church, who had recently brought home their daughter from China and learned a lot from their story as well. We asked a lot of questions about their agency, which led us to start requesting info. from different fostering and adoption agencies. We also got great advice from the worship leader at our church (who has adopted internationally and currently fosters), that we should just take one step at a time. God will open the right doors and close the ones that are not for us. I feel like that's what we kept going back to, just keep taking steps. Through the times of seeking information, we kept coming back to China. However, the cost seemed like too big of a hurdle to even consider, ranging from 28-43K. With fostering, there wouldn't be that huge expense; in fact, they even pay you. But God is bigger than finances and if He's calling us to something, He will provide everything needed to get through it. In the book, A Guide for Christian Families for Successful Adoption it says, "Christians are lovingly commanded by God to love others, particularly the innocent, the young, and the poor. If you have ever felt even the smallest pang of curiosity of adoption, the merest flicker of interest in an orphaned child, then ask God if He wants to fan it into a flame. Then trust Him to take care of the details. As you consider adoption, focus on the resources you do have and let God take care of what you don't." By this point, He has definitely fanned the desire into a flame.
In November, I read a statistic that many people say they want to adopt, but only 2% actually "follow through to completion." One of my fears at this point was that we wouldn't "follow through to completion", which led me to pray all the more fiercely that He would carry us through to completion and beyond and that He would help us be a part of making that percentage rise.
Over the next month, we just kept taking baby steps which led us to applying for an international adoption from China through Gladney Center for Adoption on December 17, 2014.
So, backing up to right after Ben had his "adoption moment". We didn't really know where to go from there, we just knew that God was opening our eyes to see the real need to love the orphans. Honestly, life just kind of got back in the way until about 3 months later, in June 2014. I (Brandee) had a vivid dream that a child was in trouble. I woke up feeling like we didn't have years to begin the adoption, but should pursue it sooner, rather than later. However, we were getting preparations ready for a summer camp in July that we attend each year and decided to look into adoption agencies after camp.
In Sept. I began seeking information. I checked out a book, You CAN Adopt from the library and began reading it. It was a good book to learn from and I think God used this book to soften my heart for the orphans even more. It sparked several conversations between Ben and I. As I finished that book, I reserved A Guide for Christian Families for Successful Adoption. This book was great in providing the advice we were looking for from a Christian perspective.
In October, Ben and I decided we were going to seek out families who were living out what we were trying to figure out. We met with some friends who were fostering kids here in Kettering. We got great info from them on the ups and downs of fostering. Then we met with a family from our church, who had recently brought home their daughter from China and learned a lot from their story as well. We asked a lot of questions about their agency, which led us to start requesting info. from different fostering and adoption agencies. We also got great advice from the worship leader at our church (who has adopted internationally and currently fosters), that we should just take one step at a time. God will open the right doors and close the ones that are not for us. I feel like that's what we kept going back to, just keep taking steps. Through the times of seeking information, we kept coming back to China. However, the cost seemed like too big of a hurdle to even consider, ranging from 28-43K. With fostering, there wouldn't be that huge expense; in fact, they even pay you. But God is bigger than finances and if He's calling us to something, He will provide everything needed to get through it. In the book, A Guide for Christian Families for Successful Adoption it says, "Christians are lovingly commanded by God to love others, particularly the innocent, the young, and the poor. If you have ever felt even the smallest pang of curiosity of adoption, the merest flicker of interest in an orphaned child, then ask God if He wants to fan it into a flame. Then trust Him to take care of the details. As you consider adoption, focus on the resources you do have and let God take care of what you don't." By this point, He has definitely fanned the desire into a flame.
In November, I read a statistic that many people say they want to adopt, but only 2% actually "follow through to completion." One of my fears at this point was that we wouldn't "follow through to completion", which led me to pray all the more fiercely that He would carry us through to completion and beyond and that He would help us be a part of making that percentage rise.
Over the next month, we just kept taking baby steps which led us to applying for an international adoption from China through Gladney Center for Adoption on December 17, 2014.
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| November 26, 2014 - Submitting our online Pre-Adoption Application with Gladney |
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
We Thought We Were "Done"
Our adoption story is a bit long, but if you want to hear the whole story, now you have the opportunity. God has known about this part of our life before time began, although for us, we became aware of it over a couple years worth of time. We have 3 biological kids (Noah-6, Gavin-5, and Lilee-2) and after having our girl, Lilee, we thought we were done having kids. There was a small question of "should we try for a 4th?" but definitely didn't feel the desire to adopt. I (Brandee) thought if we had 3 boys, MAYBE, we could adopt a little girl. But since we had a girl, I didn't see how I could adopt another girl or boy and love them the same as a biological child. Somehow I thought if I only had bio boys than I could love an adopted girl the same, but not if I had a bio girl. Strange to think about it now, but it was a very real concern at that time.
Then, on a Sunday in November 2013, God opened my eyes to see a different picture for our family. I was sitting in the church service, listening to the message on Adoption weekend. (November is Adoption Awareness month.) I had heard a similar message the previous year and didn't feel any tug or desire to adopt, but this day was different. As I listened, it was very clear that I could love a child who was adopted, boy or girl, just as much as a biological child, because God would help me. I started to see a little Asian girl, with brown eyes and brown hair. I was so excited and couldn't wait to talk to Ben (he was at work). As I left the service to go pick up the kids down the hall, it seemed as though each direction I looked, there was an Asian child or family. It was as if God was magnifying or shining a spotlight on them for me to see brighter. I get the kids and we drive to visit Ben at the Fire Station. The song "Oceans" comes on the radio and I've suddenly got tears coming down my face as I imagine us going overseas to pick up our daughter, how it will be a different and tough path of adoption paperwork, expenses, and the unknowns, but God will carry us through and that we would be at peace because of Him guiding us through this. I get to the station and tell Ben he's got to listen to the message. I didn't tell him any details, but just that I wanted him to listen and let me know what he thought. Later that week, after he listened to the message, he tells me, "That was a great message, but I didn't feel any special calling or directing to do anything other than pray for the orphans." I was a little disappointed, but knew that I couldn't force anything on him. If God wanted us to do this, He would put it on Ben's heart in His own timing. And if not, then we would be content with that as well. I didn't bring up the conversation of adoption again. However, the next time the word was spoken, it was four months later, by Ben.
We were at a food ministry with our House Church (aka small group) one Saturday in March. Right before we were about to leave, a lady showed up, who we had never seen before, with her 3 grandboys. We talked with her and gave her a bag of food and prayed with her. As we're driving home, Ben tells me, "I would've taken those boys home today." God had used that moment to speak to Ben and soften his heart to adoption. You see, the grandma had shared with us that the boys' dad and grandpa had both been murdered and they had no male influence in their lives. Through the conversation and Ben getting down on the ground and talking with those young boys. They were soaking up his attention; placing his hands on their shoulders and putting their hands on his shoulders. Ben realized in that moment that our family has a lot of love to give, and there are a lot of kids without a loving family. It began to make sense that if we were going to have another child, it would be through adoption...
So, this led to lots of prayer time... what was our next step? Do we foster? Do we adopt? Do we adopt domestically? Internationally? The answer would take months before it became clear to us that we were on a path to an international adoption. One step at a time...
Then, on a Sunday in November 2013, God opened my eyes to see a different picture for our family. I was sitting in the church service, listening to the message on Adoption weekend. (November is Adoption Awareness month.) I had heard a similar message the previous year and didn't feel any tug or desire to adopt, but this day was different. As I listened, it was very clear that I could love a child who was adopted, boy or girl, just as much as a biological child, because God would help me. I started to see a little Asian girl, with brown eyes and brown hair. I was so excited and couldn't wait to talk to Ben (he was at work). As I left the service to go pick up the kids down the hall, it seemed as though each direction I looked, there was an Asian child or family. It was as if God was magnifying or shining a spotlight on them for me to see brighter. I get the kids and we drive to visit Ben at the Fire Station. The song "Oceans" comes on the radio and I've suddenly got tears coming down my face as I imagine us going overseas to pick up our daughter, how it will be a different and tough path of adoption paperwork, expenses, and the unknowns, but God will carry us through and that we would be at peace because of Him guiding us through this. I get to the station and tell Ben he's got to listen to the message. I didn't tell him any details, but just that I wanted him to listen and let me know what he thought. Later that week, after he listened to the message, he tells me, "That was a great message, but I didn't feel any special calling or directing to do anything other than pray for the orphans." I was a little disappointed, but knew that I couldn't force anything on him. If God wanted us to do this, He would put it on Ben's heart in His own timing. And if not, then we would be content with that as well. I didn't bring up the conversation of adoption again. However, the next time the word was spoken, it was four months later, by Ben.
We were at a food ministry with our House Church (aka small group) one Saturday in March. Right before we were about to leave, a lady showed up, who we had never seen before, with her 3 grandboys. We talked with her and gave her a bag of food and prayed with her. As we're driving home, Ben tells me, "I would've taken those boys home today." God had used that moment to speak to Ben and soften his heart to adoption. You see, the grandma had shared with us that the boys' dad and grandpa had both been murdered and they had no male influence in their lives. Through the conversation and Ben getting down on the ground and talking with those young boys. They were soaking up his attention; placing his hands on their shoulders and putting their hands on his shoulders. Ben realized in that moment that our family has a lot of love to give, and there are a lot of kids without a loving family. It began to make sense that if we were going to have another child, it would be through adoption...
So, this led to lots of prayer time... what was our next step? Do we foster? Do we adopt? Do we adopt domestically? Internationally? The answer would take months before it became clear to us that we were on a path to an international adoption. One step at a time...
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